Clinch behind all the cliches

[Chloe]

WHAT THE NEW JOB LINGO REALLY MEANS

Join our fast paced company.
We have no time to train you.

Casual work atmosphere.
We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of real daring guys wear earrings.

Must be deadline oriented.
You'll be six months behind shedule on your first day.

Duties will vary.
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must have an eye for detail.
We have no quality control.

Career minded.
Female applicants must be childless and remain that way.

Apply in person.
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.


No phone calls please.
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.


Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience.
You'll need it to replace the three people who have just left.

Problem solving skills are essential.
You're walking into a company in perprtual chaos.

Requires team leadership skills.
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.